Wednesday, December 28, 2011

True Life Stories of Trevor M. Johnson

So it all started when,
I was volunteering as an emergency medic, i got a call for an older woman- who happened to be a virgin. So i began to check the crotch for lacerations and the next thing I new i was being attacked, (first time this child's toy was used as a deadly weapon)
then I was asked to go to the library for a copy of The Good Book,
the next thing that happened was me being crucified so i didn't start running to get away with it,
the problem is that instead i ended up getting a copy of the Holly Blible which just happened to be about satyrs.fauns dancing to get holly to flower- while crapping on the thing to show that it was poisonous; it just so happens that their crap ended up being mold in the shape of flowers (at least that was what we think it was about with the whole rib cage thing and yllindril the giantess we weren't too sure).
So when they cut me down they told me that they would make me a tattooed space-bint after i did so much work to erase the "stain" of paganism....


then this one time i woke up in a department store eating christmas ornaments.

21 comments:

  1. Hi-story, history lessons of trevor mackenzie johnson...

    after that a fraternity, a piloting organization, the order of the arrow, international law enforcement and all sorts of others abducted me and then inducted me...

    so i would say that my life has been a mite strange.

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  2. this is why we don't teach anyone to fight or dance, and segregate the ones that do

    cappueira and the electric slide while square dancing

    note the stalagtite modelum was approsimately 14 down to 3 inches and broke as it "fell"- large womean in the front seat.

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  3. think of all the ways that kneeling dude could pop up on you and smack the hell out of you. (hmmmmmm...... i need a friendlier atmosphere with better books)

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  4. i have had sex with a lot of weird people in my time.

    where did you learn to masturbate like that? sega genesis, specifically shadow squadron on the 32x

    so why aren't you a pilot? well they broadcasted a terrorist attack that had actually happened and i ended up shakey at the controls.

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  5. the up and down hand motion on the joystick was necessary due to micro-calibration

    sometimes i pretend that i still have that flight simy

    hooray for AMEOBIES!!!

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  6. flags of mercy
    ode to tar hulls
    parade march- (might just be the star spangled banner)
    the reasons we ended up in the drink
    (uhh its in the movie sand lot)

    this is not what i meant by arkeologist, arceologist, archaeologist.

    but hey, this Brain Control Development Unit is working out quite nicely.

    i am still annoyed that A.Ryan hit dad.pop.evil_genius

    no there is no s on the second one, that one does cabinets.

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  7. although there is another pops that may or may not like corned beef and cabbage....


    hmmm so pete that picture of the chick that's licking herself, i really hope they have no relation.... enjoy your mexicans, car parts, and math-sound-light boxes....

    i still don't get why we got mexicans...

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  8. Snackichem... hmmmm .... you mean those candy bouyancy tabs you had me swallow?

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  9. i knew the name of the candy they were supposed to be the other day, but i have a feeling that i shouldn't type any foreign funny brand names into this website

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  10. those invisible band-aids, and sperm.semen(ejaculation);

    cysts and primitive clotting mechanisms.

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  11. ok so there we were....

    this guy was like who is doing the talking?
    and the response was bob, he lives in my thumb- you don't want to know where tom dick harry or george live.
    so these other guys started playing music, and their roommate began writing comic books about abstract figurines.
    so a new reality was born out of funny noises, and the figurines in the comic books were having a blast until one of them got bored and wandered off while doing drugs (i'm not sure if it is because he didn't believe in true love or if because he didn't like the people their), anyways the one who wandered off walked up to an illithid and was like hi so they chilled for a bit with each other- not being particularly speciest-
    and then the people at the figurine party were like where is that guy, so they judged the life of the party guilty and smashed him
    at the same time these guys moved to another nation in the comic book-band world, and they tried to move there to get away from the abstract popularist elitist garbage. so the guys that moved set off a large.high yield explosive.
    and anyways with the cosmic energies and the illithid that the figurine_who_wandered_off met became tripped into this reality.
    according to everyone that the illithid new he is either crazy or on drugs, but most forgot him- this is how Cthulu is now the dark god of the illithids. :note the Illithids name was not Cthulu (they were the psychiatrist that tried to bring them back into reality through torture), was named the word for temple (the best i can do is wiggle my fingers in front of my mouth and remembering somebody claimed that would frighten me).

    mary was a virgin, glad i could be here to help a birth - in order to disprove and undo this.

    (_what the postman couldn't deliver my love letter but he could tell you that a nazi-racist.speciest space marine corps landed and started infiltrating by posing as medics {this only was able to happen because of doctors without borders} and yes this is why there is a gulf of baja, gulf of mexico, and chesapeake bay- and why we have the stars and stripes in the hopes that we can lay low long enough for them to come back through burn the damn thang and claim that the area is clear)

    due to the high-detonation, global destruction, large percentage of diseased populace, and the fact that the populace was of a different type of familial genetics (race.species) the Nazi's thought it was a good idea to land such a corp here- in order to preserve the world for them and only them.

    This is a true life story from the vaults of [Trevor M.Mackenzie Johnson (Temple) {Kasavell Aelmahs of the Uthvarrii} `that guy` *Aka Ima Asshole* ~talks too much~ "hey you. yo dickhead" 'Idunno Mu' [There are several more that i refuse to use as they have become personal and often a result of holding onto myself during an extensive beating or belief in being assaulted, however they are not multiple personalities, as a sheila i would not name myself on this webspace.site.internet.blog]]

    [Note Swastika in Canadian or American is not Mu, Swastika is used to skew the Z table and originally used to prove that those considered genetically inferior were not informed decisioners and therefore not capable ethical rulers= This has been since seen as false, and the psychodynamic was reformulated so that the Demographic did not produce a Z table]

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  12. the fleas, ants, and moths made their move... i don't know what they took- but they definitely took something...

    i remember when the rolie-polies made their move in okinawa...

    but i have a feeling that when the ameobyies make their move it is going to be the last straw,

    a.ryan taught me a valuable lesson: [/u]don't[/u] take shit from anyone

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  13. because the band chris is the only one that i have ever noticed talk his way past the police department.

    carts are slow && stone is heavy.

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  14. NEVER SHOULD LEARNING BE A SOCIETAL EXPERIMENT: Dear VCU, Virginia Commonwealth University it is sad to hear that your qualified experimenters were put up against the wall along with the Virginia Tech guys 5 almost 6 decades ago.

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  15. The only class that i ever studied for was Dr. Herman's,
    my gpa is low due to skipping class- failure policies.

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  16. look i forgot what the shelf-knocking thing was for, uhhh... yes i did think about something like that, yes i was grocery shopping...

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  17. I have been a tire twice,
    A pizza once,
    A ninja turtles movie once,
    and a lovely shade of orange 3 or 5 times.

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  18. So let's try srs...

    reasoning:
    they got their start with abducted people.

    So there i was trying to catch a taxi cab in NYC, and all of a sudden a bunch of NYPD surrounded me and put me in jail for having a weapon (my daughter, lucky it wasn't necessary for a compound bow). and then an EMT put me in a "mental institute" (bellevue ave.) where i was locked up for 63 experienced days and repeatedly forced to take experimental medication and charged $83,000. (yes, i was trying to flee to canada, but i also was attempting to see the museum of art).

    So there i was harassing the Japanese embassy in Washington D.C. (seemed a good idea, found out the MRE wasn't ready to eat). And so i got off the subway at the pentagon and began to look for a place to ask for directions. whereupon the police arrested me, questioned me, and then proceeded to lock me up in the Virginia Hospital Center for approx. 13 experienced days.

    Both times they arrested i was mentally instable for insulting them in a contextually cryptographic manner and pacing.

    -------
    Then this one time a therapist tried to sue me for revealing that i am transgendered....

    so any more questions as to why i dislike and disrespect the field of psychiatry- especially as they have injured many many many (many for about 690211934857692018384575930238256276120210492357398623098086248024902385097690284080697402801234891 times)

    .

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  19. life is bittersweet, be careful when you douche.

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